Religion, sexism and an upgrade on an aeroplane
Last week thanks to the generosity of my babysitting parents, I tagged along with my husband on his work trip to New York for three days. Three days just me walking and subwaying around a city I always fancied living in. Until dinner time when the two of us revelled in our together-aloness. It was selfish and brilliant. My husband, lovely gent that he is, gave me his business class seat on the way there – bought by his work – so I could experience it. Oh. My. Word. Is my summary of this experience. On the way home, he was landing and going straight to work and he took the golden ticket while I went back to economy reminding myself that I’d had an amazing trip and not to be ungrateful.
I was seated next to a Hasidic Jewish couple and their baby, and I admit it my heart sank a little when the baby was kicking me as he squirmed around and I was worried about getting no sleep. I buried my head in a magazine and so missed that there was a kerfuffle going on behind me with the couple’s friend – a man, sitting a few rows back next to a women he didn’t know. Or rather, refusing to sit. Why? Amazingly I knew, having read this article before I left by pure chance: When a Plane Seat Next to a Woman is Against Orthodox Faith.
Image from The New York Times by Bryan Thomas
In a nutshell, this ultra-Orthodox faith supposedly prevents a man from sitting next to a woman who is not his wife, which I believe – and I would stress that I’m coming from a point of ignorance here – is about avoiding temptation. The air steward dealing with the issue was also asked by the man to ask the women he wouldn’t sit next to if she was menstruating. The air steward refused. I’ll spare you the description of my feelings about the standing man’s behaviour at this point.
I am not a religious-intolerant person. I am also not religious, but I try to live and let live and be open minded about other people’s beliefs and ways of living. The thing is, not being a fan of sexism, racism, menstruatingism any of the isms really (except for a nice bit of hedonism) I can’t see how in this day and age you can expect to embrace modern travel modes while also expecting people to indulge you in your ancient ideas about how to treat women.
In this instance, there was a side effect of what happened on my flight, however. I got an upgrade!
This allowed the standing man to take my place next to his friends. You’ve never seen anyone move faster down a plane aisle. Further reading back home has revealed that for most people this sort of incident has resulted in nothing nice at all – delayed flights, arguing, even attempted bribes. Extreme kerfuffling compared to what happened on my flight, which only lasted for 10 minutes and benefitted me greatly.
So is the answer to this bizarre occurrence that women keep on politely exchanging seats with someone else, which is the most common outcome previously? Or should the Orthodox flyers consider staying home accepting that their beliefs come with some limitations that shouldn’t be inflicted on others?
As a feminist I pick the latter and I’ll even take the less comfy seat.
so if an orthodox man is travelling does he always have to travel with either his wife and 1 friend or 2 friends so that he can sit in the middle? what then happens if the friends are men? do they have to then take their wife and 1 friend or 2 of their friends so he is then in the middle and not risking sitting next to a women he doesn’t know? and so on……
what’s next, women who are menstruating aren’t allowed to fly?…..
can’t believe you were well-read enough to even know what was going on – i wouldn’t have had a clue and just wallowed away in my happiness of a better seat.
however, like you said, that isn’t the answer and i’m afraid male Orthodox flyers need to either the fill the entire plane with their friends or accept that they may have to sit next to someone they don’t know and yes, horror of all horrors that may be a WOMEN he doesn’t know!!!
Depressing story.
I agree with all my heart.
How uncomfortable this event may has been for the women who had a seat next to this guy, she may have experimented what it was to be “impure”.
I am not a believer, and I think religion should stay private. It’s something everyone has the right to feel in his own heart, and to practise in his own home. But no religion should ever bother someone else around.
yaah .. Depressing story.
Blimey!
Who dreamt up these rules? they were having a laugh weren’t they. I think if a man is worried he might accidentally impregnate a stranger on public transport he really should stay at home.
Oh wow! Researching UK style blogs, and I come across this (by the way, LOVE reading your interior design posts, just wanted to react to this one quickly)
I completely agree with your view in that I think it’s such a huge entitlement issue when someone insists that THEIR religious freedom be respected while trampling that of the others (or freedom to not be religious, for that matter).
I was raised with the mentality that if I had a problem with any sort of arrangement, it was on me to resolve it – whether to suck it up and deal with it or walk away, and so I cannot for the life of me justify situations where others (usually women) must make up for whatever entitlement issues come up with these people. It really is possible to go through life with your beliefs and principals intact while NOT inconveniencing others – shocking, I know! But it’s like they want to have their beliefs and not have to work for them.
That said, YAY that you got to experience NYC and a comfy seating arrangement!